Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
