what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
