WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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