I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It's rum buckets o'clock
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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