But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize