last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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