I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
