At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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