3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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