Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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