can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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