He uses pillows to masturbate.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize