he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
