You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
