every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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