I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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