Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
