I wish my penis had an off switch
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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