Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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