I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
