What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
