Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I could fuck to npr.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
