I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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