Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
it was like his penis was on wheels.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
