Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
