Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
