Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
