Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
