What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize