I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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