And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
how do flat chested girls get laid?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
