I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
