Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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