peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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