Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
