I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
