nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
