you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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