i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize