took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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