The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
