Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
