remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
she peed on how many people?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
