I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
