thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize