we're blogging at a bar
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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