he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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