Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
