i just wanna soil my oats bro
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
