using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
