waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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