Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
