I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
