she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
