she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
