careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
