i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
