Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
