what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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