oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
