JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
How many fucks given?
0.12846
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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